How will you be watching Arrested Development?
You can't believe this day is almost here. You've prayed to the TV gods, offering them unlimited juice, dead doves (uneaten of course), all the frozen bananas in the world. You Blue yourself in preparation. But one important question remains; how will you watch this show?
Are you Michael Bluth? If so, you meticulously plan to watch one episode a week, thereby maximizing your enjoyment to almost 4 months. Secretly, you resent all your friends for getting through the episodes so fast. Instant gratification, no thank you, you're an adult. Your friends are fuckers.
If you're Gob, make sure you befriend/seduce several horny immigrants whose Netflix passwords you can steal. Don't watch more than 3 episodes at one location, or their children might attached. That would be a huge mistake. On an unrelated note, all of you who have my password better plan on signing up for Netflix because this gravy train ends Memorial Weekend.
Lucille Bluth doesn't understand this show and won't respond to it.
Cloudmir vodka in hand and an amazing Shemale tshirt on, you're ready to rock this tv marathon. You're Lindsay Funke, and you've invited over some hot men you met loitering on the street corner. There's some hot ham water simmering on the stove and you're hoping to use this opportunity to further your acting career.
Tobias Funke: See above entry.
If you're Buster, you just want to drink some juice and watch it with your mom and your father/uncle. In case mom's being a real sea-ward, polish your hook hand, find a tie that doesn't make you look so....round, and knock on your neighbor's door. You have to grab that life/that brownish area by its points, and don't let go. Bonus points if it makes your mom mad.
George Sr. knows the best way is to:
1. Stock up on ice cream sandwiches.
2. Invite that girl with crazy eyes that works for you. Just be sure not to promise her a baby.
Oh, who are you kidding? You're going to stay up till 3 AM, binge on the episodes in a row and emerge bleary eyed from your room like a frat guy with a ton of blow during rush week. See you there. #sixseasonsandamovie